The "Slow" Differences of this Disability

Logan is slowly, slowly transforming before our eyes. His therapists say he is talking a lot at school. Some days he'll maintain eye contact for 5 whole seconds and I'm so caught off my guard I don't know what to do -- I'm afraid if I keep looking back I'll break the spell, but it's so amazing I just keep looking. Today he rode a tricycle while Audrey rode her new birthday trike in the driveway. And he sang "Twinkle, twinkle, Little star, How I wonder..." Then he tried to climb into Mumsie's van and go somewhere. Yesterday Logan said to Amanda, "Put it on the table," when she told him to put something away. I think this is one of the longest complete sentences he has uttered.  [11/3]

[from friend] Laura: Trying to read and catch up with everything in your life.....I enjoy hearing stories of what your kiddos are up too and saying. I have a question...Is Logan developing slow? Or is there a challenge there? I think I have missed something becoming friends after all the kiddos were born. 

Hi Laura, yes, Logan has autism. I would never have believed it could so utterly change one's life. It's very different from having a child with permanent retardation; there is a chance autistic people may be trained to grow beyond their symptoms, but there's also a chance they may not. You have to fight with all you've got to give them a chance, but you'll never know if your child is one of those who will make it. And it's a very slow fight. Like a marathon. [11/14]

After Elinor was born

11/6/10

We survived the hug hurdle of bringing Elinor home. Audrey wanted to hold her pretty badly -- we are going to have to be careful! She (2 yrs old on Oct 29) even tried to lift Logan (3 yrs old) out of the wagon today after I took them on an hour's tour of the backyard while Mama settled in with Elinor. Also, Audrey and Logan leaned in to kiss each other in the bathtub tonight! They're banding together.

11/14/10

Audrey wanted Daddy to pick her up, but I was already holding Logan and had to tell her it was Logan's turn. She thought about that a second, then looked up and said, "Logan, d'you wanna get down?"

Logan's latest words: cookie, door, hold you, dog, up, cup, done, bath time, hi, yeah. He's been giving Daddy hi-fives.

11/19/10

Mandy & I always heard that God never gives more than you can handle. Not true. He regularly gives us more than we can handle, that we may daily look to His sufficient grace and, after our efforts have still fallen short, remember his loving provision. "Come to me, all you who are weary & burdened. Take my yoke upon you & learn from me, for I am gentle & humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

12/8/10

We got Logan's 2nd quarter report on developmental progress today. He went up in every category, as much as 80% up from 25%, or up 60% from 15%, 50% from 10%, etc. These are the great strides we were told to expect from his school; Logan is finally breaking through! Thanks for all the prayers! Thank you, Lord Jesus.

I'm thankful for Logan's progress since April in these areas: 1. diet more rounded and he's not so finicky; 2. better coordinated for climbing and motion; 3. not as hyper-sensitive to noises or bright lights; 4. not socially anxious in public; 5. making better eye contact; 6. prefers human contact rather than obsessing with objects.

We completed 1 week (on 3 diff. evenings) of ABA training with a specialist in our home, and this morning we also met with his school therapists to talk more about reinforcing at home what he learns there. They say his speech and cognition have quite a ways to go, but he's definitely laying the foundation. The ABA specialist says he's neither mild nor severe, but has good basic skills to work with. God is answering prayers, helping us find the right people to work with.

After a difficult week of receiving Logan's recent test results (no cognitive progress), I was blessed to hear from two persons with autism (or with it in their family) who lifted my spirits with confidence that he will grow; they said to keep being the loving parent I am and just wait for him to burst one day with growth.
This week Logan leaned forward to give me a boyish kiss (no pucker or smack, just love in his face). He's been saying "go go go" when he anticipates going out the door. After a kid's birthday party at school, he said "no no no, mine" when teachers tried to take his party-favor horn. He's been saying Audrey's name lately. Also "eat" and "up" and "done."
[from FB] 

from my friend Cephas on Facebook:
Hey Jon, I just saw your post about Logan. I'm not really sure what to say ... It seems like at every turn in life we're confronted with things that seem unexpected and daunting, but then you get in there and realize that those are the things that actually make a life. I hope that you will have the strength when you need to be strong, and I know that you will have the wisdom to see grace when it is given. Keep rockin', old friend.

Cephas, those are just about the most meaningful words anyone has said during this whole ordeal. I really appreciate it. It gets hard some days to remain positive. It takes energy and creativity to reach out to Logan and keep trying to get him to interact. Some days I just don't have it. But overall, he's doing okay, and I think in the long run he'll adjust. But I think you're right -- this makes life worth living. It gives me a purpose. If I can help him to have a good life -- that would make it all worth it. Thanks for your words, Big Ceeph!

Logan has a "299.00 Autistic Disorder." I've been trying to find out what that means. The good news is that he can self-regulate and doesn't throw tantrums. He loves to be cuddled. He has shifted from fixation on objects to preferring our company, tho' he still doesn't reciprocate socially, verbalize, pretend play, or make eye contact. He does like to laugh and smile a lot, tho.

[from sister] Lori Jurkovic jonathan,299.00 Autistic Disorder is a diagnostic code from the DSMIV. The DSMIV is what everyone in the mental/behavioral/psychiatric health field uses to code diagnoses. You can google DSMIV 299.00 and it might come up, otherwise get a copy of the dsmiv; a mini one will do and you'll see it has several critereon that have to be met to make the diagnosis. It won't tell you the prognosis or treatment. It will just tell you what the person who diagnosed him felt that he has by meeting several of the necessary criteria for the diagnosis. The spectrum of autism is huge/ wide and still myterious. You will do well to not get bogged down by a diagnosis; Logan is Logan. He can go as far as he can go and you won't know how far that is because he isn't there yet. He is a delightful, loving, wonderful, darling child who is very special and sensitive. He may not be the same as other kids, but then you weren't and I wasn't either. Keep being the wonderful, enrichng Dad that you are and just blow right through the diagnosis. He's your Logan

[from friend] Becky Neyhard White I spent almost 2 years doing 7-hours-a-day one-on-one work with kiddos with autism, ages 3-10, at a school for kids with autism and other developmental disorders...they're such wonderful little ones who often see the world in ways the rest of us can only glimpse at. I miss that work. It sounds like you and Logan's mom are getting involved with his development early on, which is the best way for him to make the most progress. I second what Lori said above about the diagnosis. The diagnosis is above all just a label so that Logan can access state and federally funded resources now. I don't know how much info I can offer but if you have questions, I'm happy to share what I learned from my experiences with my students. 

Starting pre-school

4/2/10
Logan said bye-bye several times and waved to Rob Moore and his girls this evening. He and Audrey laughed and splashed each other in the tub at bath time (they were both saying "nice," as in "be nice"). He has been saying cracker, cake, and other words lately. He requested a cookie without any prompting tonight. These are mini break-thrus.

4/20/10
Logan starts pre-school tomorrow: he finally got approved for therapy 6 hours/day on weekdays. He's been quite happy lately, saying the word "happy" and calling Mandy "mama" again. They say we will see dramatic changes in him right away.

4/28/10
Logan is right now enjoying a peanut butter sandwich dipped in Ranch dressing...

Logan has started napping at pre-school and is showing other signs of getting settled in there. He is getting better at climbing (onto his castle slide at home, onto the sofa, over the mini bridge in the yard), so coordination is improving. More abstract things will come after he masters more motor skills. Baby steps...

[old Facebook posts]