After a visit from a friend

[K. wrote] I had a great time catching up with you all and getting to meet Audrey. I'm sorry that you are feeling depressed. I'm sure this has been a hard struggle with getting Logan what he needs...but the encouraging thing is that God is completely in control and loves little Logan even more than you and Amanda do...and He will use Logan to bring glory to Himself....it just might be different than you had planned.  Your family is in my prayers [...] and I look forward to seeing you all again soon!

Thank you for the kind words, K. I couldn't love the little guy any more; he is the most adorable and precious gift to have come into our lives. I can't explain why it's still sad, even though I feel God's hand in all of this, and even though I even welcome all this as a blessing, and even feel that I know why God sent this situation to us. I guess I'm sad because I love him so much, and on the days when he is really unhappy or in his own world, I don't know how to help him. But then there are also awesome days like today when he's making good eye contact and interacting all over the place with me.

Message to a Psychologist Who Made Logan's Initial Assessments

Dear Dr. F.,

I know I probably babbled at the appointment on Friday; I felt at the time like my tone was complaining or something.  I have been feeling really troubled lately, and so I was very eager for us to meet with you.  I'm sorry if I came across too desperate or upset.  I just did not want to forget to tell you something.

Thanks so much for meeting with our family.  I am reading through *Engaging Autism* and it's very helpful and reassuring.  I had skimmed parts of it before, but now I'm reading straight through, carefully.  

Amanda and I seem to waffle back and forth between hope and despair, taking turns being the one who comforts and the one who worries.  And then I feel silly because other people have so much bigger problems than this in life.

I heard today about a book from the 70s (?) called *The Hidden Child*, recommended by a teacher of special needs children in China.  Have you heard of it, and is it too outdated as far as theory/method -- or do you think it also might be worth a look?

Thanks for all your help.  I will do whatever it takes to help my little boy.  We look forward to our next meeting with you, and appreciate anything you are able to tell us.

Sincerely,
Jonathan